Becoming a better draft

As a person of faith, my goal is to become a true disciple of Jesus Christ. It is easier said than done. 

Each day, I try to do something better than I did yesterday. But because of our natural human tendency to resist change, those changes don’t usually happen dramatically. I understand it takes time. I just hope that, along the way, I can see some milestone in my progress.

Personally, I sometimes get strong nudges to change my thought process, perspective, or reaction to the things I encounter. Those are the moments that stay with me for a long time because they reveal a significant difference between the way I used to think and the way I am learning to think. 

I want to illustrate those nudges, or I should say ‘editing my life to living the gospel,’ with a couple of my personal experiences. 

One day, I was at the store in Japan, buying some things I needed. The person at the cashier wasn’t Japanese, but he spoke perfect Japanese. I was curious about how he had developed such a great command of language. So I asked, “Your Japanese is excellent. Where did you learn it?” 

He looked a little puzzled and said, “Well, I was born in Japan.” 

Aw… 

Some awkwardness filled the air around me. I felt terrible for making an assumption about him. I had assumed he must have been from somewhere in Southeast Asia, working in Japan, as many people do these days. But it hit me immediately: he had actually been born and raised in Japan, yet I had unconsciously assumed otherwise because of how he looked.

It hit me even harder because I had several youths in my Church group who had been in a similar situation. Although I had heard about and understood their struggles, I had failed to recognize that I was making the same kind of assumption about this person at the cash register.

After this hard lesson, I pondered how I should see the people around me and interact with them. What had tricked me was my curiosity to get to know this person, and curiosity itself wasn’t a bad intention. But I realized that my assumption had gotten in the way. 

I decided that I would not ask someone where they are from unless they indicated they were willing to share. It doesn’t matter where someone is from for us to become friends. We are all children of God. 

I had to recognize an assumption, cut it out, and replace it with a better way of seeing people.

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I’ve lived in the United States for more than 14 years. One thing I still haven’t gotten used to after all these years is making small talk with strangers. 

In America, it is very natural to say something like, “Hi, how are you doing today? Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?” to a total stranger. I get asked questions like this a lot at the checkout counter after I shop for groceries. It is also very common to say “hi” to a stranger in an elevator and start a conversation. If the person says something funny, you might even be expected to respond with some kind of wit. That’s how communication often works in this country. 

And I felt very awkward in these kinds of situations, although I really admired people’s ability to communicate so naturally. My inner voice was screaming, “Please don’t ask me that. What I do over the weekend is none of your business!” 

Coming from Japan, where being considerate of others is almost an art form, I couldn’t help wishing people here would show a little more tact — or, as we say in Japan, “read the air.”

I had been wrestling with this feeling until one experience changed the way I thought about it.

Brigham Young University President C. Shane Reese gave a speech about the deep meaning of awkwardness and friction in our lives. He explained that awkward situations and friction in our interactions can become opportunities for learning and growth. 

He said, “So much good in our lives comes from productive struggle and, yes, even a little friction.” He emphasized that experiencing awkwardness and friction can be critical to our ability to serve God’s children. 

My thoughts turned to those people who had smiled at me, waved at me, and engaged in small talk. If they were doing these things because they knew the eternal purpose behind connecting with God’s children, I could no longer simply think, “Leave me alone.”

I was the one who needed to change. 

I need to revise my reaction rather than someone else’s behavior. Instead of seeing small talk as an intrusion, I could choose to see it as an opportunity to connect with another person. 

My favorite prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, once said, “May we go with determination to try a little harder to be a little better.” 

I finally understand that this teaching is not simply about becoming a better version of myself. It is about becoming better prepared to serve God’s children. 

Living the gospel is a lot like editing. We notice something that needs to change. We examine it honestly. We remove what doesn’t belong. Then we revise and try again. 

The strong nudges I receive from the Holy Ghost have taught me what it looks like to see others as a child of God and how to serve them better. 

Reese said, 

“Say something to one of God’s children. Find some friction.

“Wave, smile, and engage with one another.”

Those small edits in the way we think, speak, and respond are preparing us for something much greater. 

They are preparing us to serve God.